Its been a month that I realize something that shouldn’t happen  because I know everything will be a waste of time kung mangyayari but it happened. It is really crazy why I am writing about this. Pero hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. Alam mo yung feeling ng may gusto kang bagay pero  you cant have it at all?.. so sad because you cant demand for anything kasi pagpinilit mo pa ikaw lang mahihirapan at masasaktan.That is what I feel right now. I’ve been sad/crying for a day or two.I hate for being stupid that I hope something I couldn’t  get even I’ve done what I needed to do. I’m tired enough and this should be stop. KTHNKSBYE.. 

Finally, I tried to talk to him and say how much I missed him 

you’re not even mine :(

I just hate the feeling of being like this. I hate it!! I’m not bitter anymore about what happened. I can prove that pero alam mo yung feeling ng nakalimutan niyo na tapos pati ba naman pinagsamahan parang nakalimutan narin.. I hate the feeling. Hindi kasi ganun ngyari sakin before dahil we end our relationship as romantic couple but the friendship is still there but now,my past relationship ends and also the friendship?? parang hinde kme magkakilala na..I hate the feeling na nakalimutan ko na lahat. Yung pakiramdam na how we started and how we end. nakalimutan ko na pinagsamahan namin and I think both party did. We both forget all in the past even the memories we been together..ang alam ko nlng yata ang name nya nothing else..Wala na ako maramdaman at feeling ko namanhid narin ako wala narin ako maalala..Everything is a mess.. wala ako maalala kung nagkarelationship ba ako or anything two months palang ganto na nararamdaman ko.. I want to like or love someone pero wala eh wala ako maramdaman and I think it is a bad thing.. gusto ko na maalala yung feeling ng inlove or anything.. ayuko yung short term kilig lang Gusto ko na mainlove and ishare yung love ko for someone..I am ready but how?? sabi nila wag ko daw pilitin mainlove so what I did hinde ko nga pinipilit at now super moody ko na.. I dont know what happened to me. I want to be happy pero siguro this is not the time yet. I will wait nalang hinde ko na hahanapin.. I just thank God for everything for making me strong. 

I miss saying I love you to someone.. yung I love you na may meaning tlga…and sweet morning and night messages…

Sana matangal na sa vocabularyo ko ang pagiging madrama..PLEASE lang yuko na gusto ko pigilan pero tama please..gsto ko happy kid :) pano kaya mapigilan??

I cant sleep.. I don’t want to think anymore. Gusto ko lang alagaan ang sarili ko ngayun. Gusto ko na isipin ang sarili ko selfish ko man pero alam ko this is the time to think about myself ilang taon narin na hinde ko inisip ang sarili ko parati nlng ibang tao ang iniisip ko.. Magalaga ng iba..Care for them and realizing how about me? pano naman ako? Im so tired to think kung ano mararamdaman ng ibang TAO. kung magiging masaya ba sila or what. Ako ba isip nila or tinanung ba niya kung masaya ako? kung ano nararamdaman ko. pero Okay lng sakin yun bsta malaman ko happy sila okay na ako pero ngayun pagod na talaga ako.. ayuko na magpapigil.. Gusto ko na maging happy.I dont care anymore what they think bsta gusto ko ng maging happy. Realizing this earlier.. Ano ka gsto mo kw lang masaya? at magstick nlng at hintyin ang tamang panahon… Im so tried of waiting for nothing..false hope that you are giving me. tama na siguro..kung totoo mga snasabi nila sakin cge go lang pero I will not believe that unless they do that. 

Back to zero nnmn ba ako??Im trying to be okay and happy.. but now I will try my very best to be not affected. :) smile smile smile.. Lord, give me strength 

Ayaw ko sa taong sinungaling at magaling magpaasa 

HAHA.. Gusto ko lang gumawa ng blog tungkol sa mga bagay na gusto kong gawin na hindi ko nagagawa noon at yung mga gusto kong bagay na hinde ko pa nagagawa.. I want to try new things that will makes me happy :)

• Out of town with my friends(besties,wee friends,KKK, and of course college friends)
• Party all night..(sana payagan ako ng parents ko)
• EK with friends
• new adventures
• Out of the country…
• meet new friends
• attend sa mga concerts..
• manuod ng ASAP at showtime ng Live
• get wasted?? hahaha
• new sports(nagboboxing na ako) gsto ko magfrisbie, magswimming
• diet(sana pumayat na ako)
• make over
• new paint sa room ko
• forget the past 
• Ipasyal si Andi
• Outing with tropa
• magkaraoke(para enjoy)
• magshopping
• pumasa sa thesis
• at Sympre GRUMADUATE NA!!!! pra ireturn ko nmn ang pasasalamat ko sa mga magulang ko sa pagpapaaral sakin..
• sympre found someone who will be there for me…(last option na muna yan)

Marami pa ako gustong gawin hnde ko lang malagay pa dyan pagiisipan ku pa kung ano yun.. bsta LOVE LOVE LOVE :) enjoy everything kung ano man meron sakin ngayun.. :)